1). This could also be a question about anger because some people withdraw emotionally when they become angry, while others may shout, become controlling, etc. For whatever reason, emotional withdrawal is painful and creates unpleasant consequences for you.
2). The Heart of the Soul: Emotional Awareness (Simon and Schuster, NY, 2001) takes you through all that is requires to become emotionally aware. When you develop emotional awareness, you can always recognize when you are withdraw emotionally. This entire book is a treasure of support. If you want to look at “emotional awareness” in particular, see page 294 of the index.