Free Tools for Spiritual Growth

Questions and Answers

Many of you have contacted us with questions…we would like to provide answers to the commonly asked questions. As we answer and post questions each week, this section will expand and these questions will be categorized under topics that you will be able to search. In this way, we hope to support you in your journey to authentic power!

How can I love without fear? I am struggling to love my partner without fears or expectations, but I am finding that despite the fact that I can love others without fear, I am unable to love her that way.

Love and fear exclude each other. You cannot love and fear at the same time. You also cannot fear and love at the same time. There are times when you love your partner. Those are the times when you want to support her. You delight in his growing strength. Her vulnerabilities bring out your most caring tenderness. This is how we were meant to be with each other. It is natural to love.

“Eventually you will learn to love each other, and, in the process, everyone and everything.

—Gary Zukav

There are also times when you are frightened. You fear what he will say or do next, or what you will say or do. You want to remain together and you are frightened that you will separate. You fear that you will not be able to give her what she needs, or that she will not be able to do that for you.

You are together to learn how to love. Your fears show you what you need to work on. They are what need to be changed. You know that your spiritual partnership is working when it brings up your fears. It would not be working if it didn’t.

Eventually you will learn to love each other, and, in the process, everyone and everything. Before that happens, you will encounter all of your fears. That is the first step in healing them.

How do I believe that what I need will appear when my four children are hungry, that I won’t starve when there really isn’t any food?

It is often hardest to think of spiritual growth when your circumstances are difficult, such as not having money while your children are hungry, losing your job, the death of someone you depend upon, or a crippling accident. But these are times when you can benefit the most from stepping back from your circumstance a little bit and looking inside yourself at what you are experiencing while you are in it.

You can frantically search for a way to feed your children. Or you can look at your circumstances from the perspective that everything that happens to you offers you an opportunity to challenge your fears and create constructive consequences.

“There are many ways to challenge a part of your personality that is frightened.

—Gary Zukav

There are many ways to challenge a part of your personality that is frightened. For example, you can sit down, look into your mind and your heart, go to the happiest time in your life, whether it has to do with your family or your children. Think of how much you love your children, and then open yourself to new possibilities while you are feeling these things.

When you are controlled by fear, it is like wearing blinders. You can’t see very much except what is directly in front of you, such as your need for food for your children. When you are in a part of your personality that is loving, you can see ever so much more. You can see opportunities that you did not see before.

Challenging the fears that control you does not make the things that you need magically appear. It allows you to see ways to do what you need to do because you are freed from the terror of not being successful, because you know that every experience you have, even one that is this frightening, serves your spiritual growth.

When can you make your best decisions—when fear is controlling you or when you are able to feel your fear and not let it control you?

Challenging fear when you experience it instead of acting on it allows you to make the healthiest choices you can, in this case for your children and yourself. There are countless ways to challenge your fear, whatever it is.

Simply looking for these ways challenges every fear that you have.

View our archived questions and answers here.